Texas Style

Nov 17

Texas Style

A major network is planning the show “Survivor 4 ” this winter. In response, Texas is planning “Survivor, Texas Style.” The contestants will start in Dallas, travel through Waco, Austin, San Antonio, over to Houston, and down to Brownsville. They will proceed up to Del Rio, on to El Paso, then to Midland/Odessa, Lubbock, and Amarillo. From...

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Redneck Vasectomy

Nov 16

Redneck Vasectomy

After having their 11th child, an Alabama couple decided that was enough (they could not afford a larger double wide) So, the husband went to his doctor (who also treated mules) and told him that he and his wife/cousin didn’t want to have any more children. The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a vasectomy that could fix the problem. The doctor...

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Redneck Goes Into A Whorehouse

Nov 15

Redneck Goes Into A Whorehouse

He’s got five bucks and is horny, so he thinks to himself, “Maybe I’ll go to that whorehouse I’ve been hearin’ so much ’bout.” The redneck walks in, approaches a very burlesque, good-looking woman and says, “I’ve got 5 bucks, give me your best.” The man is immediately escorted to a room with a mirror, a...

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The Alabama Edition

Nov 14

The Alabama Edition

It has come to our attention that a few copies of the Alabama edition of Windows 98 may have accidentally been shipped outside Alabama. If you have one of the Alabama editions you may need some help understanding the commands. The Alabama edition may be recognized by looking at the opening screen. It reads WINDERS 98 with a background picture of the General Lee...

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Won The Lottery

Nov 13

Won The Lottery

A Redneck buys a ticket and wins the lottery. He goes to Austin to claim it and the man verifies his ticket number. The Redneck says, “I want my $20 million.” The man replied, “No, sir. It doesn’t work that way. We give you a million today and then you’ll get the rest spread out for the next 19 years.” The Redneck said, “Oh,...

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You’ve ever bought a used cap

Jun 10

You’ve ever bought a used cap

You might be a redneck if… You’ve ever worn shorts to a funeral home. You think that the styrofoam cooler is the greatest invention of all time. You’ve ever been too drunk to fish. You’ve ever bought a used cap. You had to remove a toothpick for wedding pictures. You’ve ever used a weedeater indoors. Your momma tore her best dress coon...

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