Where are we?

Aug 16

Where are we?

Where are we? Fritz Kriesler and Rachmaninov had a recital in Carnegie Hall once. In the middle of the music, Kriesler got lost and turned around to ask Rachmaninov, “Where are we?” Rachmaninov said, “Carnegie Hall, sir!” What’s that sound? A tourist is sightseeing in a European city. She comes upon the tomb of Beethoven, and begins...

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Musician jokes

Aug 15

Musician jokes

Q: How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb? A: Twenty. 1 to do it and the other 19 to stand around and say, “I can do that!” Q: What do you get if Bach falls off a horse, but has the courage to get on again and continue riding? A: Bach in the saddle again. Q: How many bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Two. One to...

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Any last requests?

Aug 14

Any last requests?

Any last requests? A cowboy and a biker are on death row, and are to be executed on the same day. The day comes, and they are brought to the gas chamber. The warden asks the cowboy if he has a last request, to which the cowboy replies, “Ah shore do, wardn. Ah’d be mighty grateful if’n yoo’d play ‘Achy Breaky Heart’ fur me bahfore...

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Musical jokes

Aug 13

Musical jokes

Q: What do you get when you play a new age song backwards? A: A new age song. Q: What happens if you sing country music backwards? A: You get your job and your wife back. Disco is to music what Etch-A-Sketch is to art. Q: How can you tell someone is a true music lover? A: When they even put their ear up to the bathroom keyhole. After silence, music comes closest to...

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Playing music

Aug 12

Playing music

Playing music Last summer, the local orchestra decided to play Beethoven’s 9th symphony. However, it being quite hot, the players were working up quite a sweat, until a neighbor let them use the ventilators in her house. However, the wind from these ventilators was causing the notes to blow all over the place, so they had to tie them down to the note...

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Orchestra jokes

Aug 11

Orchestra jokes

Q: What is the definition of a Soviet String Quartet? A: A Soviet Symphony Orchestra after a tour of the USA! Q: What do you do with percussionists that lose one of their drumsticks? A: Stick them up front of the group and tell them to wave their arms! Q: How many conductors does it take to change a light bulb? A: Seven. [Indignant nose upturning] Of course, I...

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