Little Johnny was heard by his mother reciting his homework: “Two plus two, the son of a bitch is four; four plus four, the son of a bitch is eight; eight plus eight, the son of a bitch…” “Johnny !” shouted his mother. “Watch your language! You’re not allowed to use the swearwords.” “But, Mom,”...

Little Johnny sees his Daddy’s car passing the playground and going into the woods. Curious, he follows the car and sees Daddy and Aunt Jane kissing. Johnny finds this so exciting and can barely contain himself as he runs home and starts to tell his mother excitedly. “MOMMY, MOMMY, I WAS AT THE PLAYGROUND AND DADDY AND…” Mommy tells him to...

“Hey, Mom,” asked Little Johnny, “can you give me twenty dollars?” “Certainly not!” answered his mother. “If you do,” Little Johnny went on, “I’ll tell you what dad said to the maid when you were at the beauty shop.” His mother’s ears perked up and, grabbing her purse, she handed over the money....

The composition teacher asked the class to write about an unusual event that happened during the past week. Little Johnny got up and read his essay. It began, “Daddy fell into the well last week…” “My goodness!” the teacher exclaimed. “Is he all right?” “He must be,” said the boy. “He stopped yelling...

Little Johnny goes back to school on Monday and the teacher asks the kids if there was anything exciting that happened to them over the weekend. Little Johnny is waving his hand like crazy, well the teacher knows how little Johnny is so she doesn’t want to call on him. Finally, she gives in and calls on Johnny, “All right Johnny, what did you do this...

It was the first day of third grade in a new town for Little Johnny. As a test, his teacher went around the room and asked each of the students to count to 50. Some did very well, counting as high as 30 or 40 with just a few mistakes. Others couldn’t get past 20. Little Johnny, however, did extremely well; he counted past 50, right up to 100 without any...