Everybody

Jul 04

Everybody

This is the story of four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody. There was an important job to be done and Everybody was asked to do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it. Somebody got angry about that, because it was Everybody’s job. Everybody thought Anybody could do it, but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn’t...

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A tight travel budget

Jul 03

A tight travel budget

All workers please be advised of the following changes to the travel policy. Memorandum To: All Employees From: Headquarters Subject: Business Travel Policy Guidelines Date: June 16, 2000 Due to fiscal constraints, the following corporate policies are announced regarding employees on travel for official business. The purpose of these policies is to save money,...

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The ten ifs of employment

Jul 02

The ten ifs of employment

1. If it rings, put it on hold. 2. If it clunks, call the repairman. 3. If it whistles, ignore it. 4. If it’s a friend, stop work and chat. 5. If it’s the boss, look busy. 6. If it talks, take notes. 7. If it’s handwritten, type it. 8. if it’s typed, copy it. 9. If it’s copied, file it. 10. If it’s Friday, forget it! Funny...

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Repairing the phone

Jul 01

Repairing the phone

A friend of mine was a frequent user of a pay telephone at a popular truck stop, and was greatly inconvenienced when the phone went out of commission. Repeated requests for repair brought only promises. After several days, the phone company was again contacted and told that there was no longer a rush. The phone was now working fine–except that all money was...

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How you made money

Jun 30

How you made money

A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money. The old guy fingered his worsted wool vest and said, “Well, son, it was 1932. The depth of the Great Depression. I was down to my last nickel. “I invested that nickel in an apple. I spent the entire day polishing the apple and, at the end of the day, I sold the apple for ten cents. “The next...

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Telemarketers go away

Jun 29

Telemarketers go away

How to Make a Telemarketer Go Away 1. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money. Ask, “How long can I keep it? Do I have to ever pay it back, or is it like the other money I borrowed before my bankruptcy?” 2. If you get one of those pushy people who won\’t shut up, just listen to...

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